Sex toys have been around for decades and have only grown in popularity as the years go by. More and more people are finding themselves buying and using sex toys to improve their sex lives and live out some of their wildest fantasies, and you don’t even need to leave your house or spend any money to do it! With a simple search, you can find several DIY sex toy suggestions.
The Internet is full of DIY sex toy improvisations that are easy to make from common household items, but you should know that some of these aren’t as safe or effective as others, so here are five sex toy improvizations you’ll want to avoid.
1) Sharp or Pointy Items
Okay, so this may seem like a no-brainer… but unfortunately, there are plenty of people who figure this out the hard way. It’s not just in adult films that these objects have been found—they’ve also made appearances in real life. In fact, some medical professionals even have a name for it: autoerotic foreign body insertion.
Though it’s rare (thankfully), sharp or pointy objects have been found in vaginas, anuses, and urethras (ouch). So if you’re looking for something new and different to spice up your sex life—or if you’re just curious about how big your urethra is—it’s probably best to leave household items on shelves where they belong.
2) Lightbulbs, Jars, & Glasses
Both glass and lightbulbs can be very thin and are not made for the pressure the walls of the anus or vagina would have on them if inserted. Not only are you risking these items getting stuck inside of you, they could also shatter or break inside you and cause tearing of the tissue.
If something breaks inside of you and causes injury, then you will need immediate medical attention due to the risk of sepsis (blood poisoning). If not treated immediately, sepsis can lead to organ failure, coma, or even death!
3) Cans or Bottles
I have heard and read about some pretty wild stories of things that people get stuck inside of them; cans and bottles are at the top of the list. Yikes! If you’re trying to get in on a little bedroom action, don’t be that person who ends up on youtube or even worse, in a hospital with a can up their ass!
To avoid getting into trouble with your junk: Never put an object (like cans or bottles) inside your vagina or anus. Doing so can cause infections and pain, as well as injury if it gets lodged in there and has to be removed by a doctor.
In addition, objects can also tear delicate tissues which may result in stitches being required! Remember: Your body is beautiful just how it is – don’t ruin it by putting potentially dangerous objects into places they shouldn’t go!
4) Cellphones
Okay, people, cellphones are not dildos! In a pinch, your phone can work as a vibrator, but you should absolutely 110% avoid sticking your phone inside of yourself! Cellphones emit radiation! If a cellphone battery swells, you have to take it out and dispose of it properly before it catches fire!
There are better substitutes out there for external vibrators… electric toothbrushes, facial exfoliators, and back massagers are much safer and they vibrate harder than cellphones. 😉
5) Live Animals
I honestly wish I didn’t have to even go there… but unfortunately, this has happened… more than once. Each year, at least 5000 Americans are hospitalized after getting foreign objects stuck in their anal cavity. Among these “foreign objects”, an average of 19 are animals, including snakes, eels, fish, and small rodents like mice or rats.
My best friend’s mom is a nurse in an ER. She shared a story about a woman and her partner who wanted to spice things up by inserting a live snake into her vagina. By the time they made it to the hospital, the snake had eaten away enough of her insides that there was no way to save her.
I have also read about a man who wanted to get off with a rat inside of his anus. He showed up at the hospital with the rat’s tail dangling from his anus. Later confessing, he wanted to suffocate the rat by putting a condom over its head before inserting the rat into his anus; hoping the rat would massage his prostate. He was lucky to leave the hospital, but he suffered tears from where the rat chewed through the condom and started to chew through his intestines.
In both cases, it’s no accident – animals have been trafficked and people have committed a crime. Whether it’s your beloved dog or cat – bestiality is a felony punishable in most places.
DIY Sextoy Safety
Most of us have been in a pinch or perhaps a bit curious to explore something new, but it is so important to use common sense with what you play with.
How clean it is it? Could it break while in action? Could it get stuck or puncture anything internally? Is it toxic? Is it alive? Can I find something safer?
Cherie is a stray children's librarian turned rogue.
Now she spends her days writing and exploring sex-positive, queer, and kink topics with her girlfriend.
You might find her covered in paint, laughing, or dancing in the rain.
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One of my very big no-nos is also using fruits and vegetables (not to speak of animal material) without condoms. Groceries are generally covered in fungi and bacteria (maybe even insect eggs) even after washing. Then there’s the microscopic flakes, hairs and thorns that might make your life miserable. All in all can’t recommend.
Yes! It is so important to use condoms on produce and any other improvisations. Just thinking about parasites, microscopic flakes, hairs, and thorns inside of me makes me cringe! Thank you for your comment! <3
[…] can not get seriously hurt or stuck in something you created. Be sure to read our guide on 5 Sex Toy Improvizations You’ll Want to Avoid when thinking about things you substitute for dildos and butt […]