Most people think the goal of good sex is to feel something. But what if a large part of your struggle is that you are not sure how to feel in the first place. It’s time to talk about pleasure mapping! There is a difference between being in a sexual situation and being in your body during a sexual situation. The first is physical proximity. The second is something else entirely. It is the difference between watching yourself from above and actually being present in your own skin. Many people spend years in the first state without ever figuring out how to access the second. This is not a personality flaw. This is a skill gap. And like any skill, it can be developed. Why We Dissociate The body has protective mechanisms. When a situation feels threatening, overwhelming, or confusing, the nervous system can disconnect from sensation as a survival strategy. This is called dissociation. It is the same mechanism that makes a person go blank when their alarm goes off, or that allows someone …